Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce with Your Body
November 7, 2009 by admin
Filed under Fat Loss Books
- ISBN13: 9780399534973
- Condition: NEW
- Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
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Product Description
From the leading bloggers in the fat-acceptance movement comes an empowering guide to body image- no matter what the scales say.
When it comes to body image, women can be their own worst enemies, aided and abetted by society and the media. But Harding and Kirby, the leading bloggers in the “fatosphere,” the online community of the fat acceptance movement, have written a book to help readers achieve admiration for-or at least a truce with-their bodies…. More >>
Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce with Your Body
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This book is written by bloggers with no academic background in what they’re writing about whatsoever. Most “facts” in this book are either just personal anecdotes or else are cherry-picked from whatever the bloggers could find that seemed to say that being fat isn’t unhealthy. Authors of some of those studies even refuted the bloggers’ interpretations, but that won’t be mentioned in the book, obviously. The main author, Kate Harding, speaks for fat activism but actually weighs less than 200 lbs. She may be anecdotally free of obesity-related health problems, but I don’t know how she can speak for 300-lb+ women for whom health issues are not even in the same league as her own. Furthermore, Kate Harding is a chain smoker; perhaps a smoker activism book claiming that lung cancer is only correlated with smoking (but never caused by it) will come from this woman next, to justify that lifestyle too?
Things you can “learn” from this book:
– Fat people do not eat more than thin people. Calories-in calories-out does not apply to fat people, who barely eat anything at all really.
– Obesity causes no health problems! Obviously it’s just all correlation. Nothing wrong with being fat no-siree.
– Eating less to manage your weight is self-harm and self-hate
– Doctors and medical scientists are bad bad bad bad and are always lying to you. The authors know way more about fat and health than anybody who went through years of medical school and clinical practice ever could. If they want to weigh you, get a new doctor!
The book is pretty ridiculous. And, really, if you want to know what you’ll find in this book, just find the free blog feed and it’ll be all the same stuff over and over again. You’ll thank yourself after reading the blogs for not buying this book!
Rating: 1 / 5
In fairness, I am obviously not the target audience for this book. I thought it was going to be something about – I don’t know… self-esteem and accepting a realistic size, I guess. Instead we have two women who sound just as delusional about weight issues as any anorexic you might meet. There is no such thing as “healthy at any size” – there are extremes at both ends where size can make one extremely *unhealthy*.
Having said that, there were one or two things about the book that had merit, and I thought the story about the mother who died from a blood clot because she was too afraid to go to a doctor was really sad and illustrated perfectly the point that fat people are abused and bullied daily, and this is not a good thing.
Overall, the book was amateurish and poorly-written. I didn’t know when I bought it that the authors run a Livejournal community, but I could have guessed by the sloppy writing, the constant, unnecessary swearing, the “freakin” this and “freakin” that, and the “humourous” sidenotes in parentheticals – this was exactly like reading a Livejournal post, not a book I had just shelled out $25 for.
Oh, and the throw-it-across-the-room moment for me was when they said that if a doctor is blunt enough to tell you that you need to lose weight you should lodge a complaint about them. Right.
Rating: 1 / 5
This book repeats the same information that other self-acceptance advocates have long said, but they manage to do it less eloquently. What really pissed me off about this book is one part where they said it was just sooooo sad that overweight women are usually single, and how poor fat girls need to make more of an effort to love ourselves so others could love us too. Arrogant much? Seems to have no concept of what it is like to actually be fat and being accepting of it. The authors’ really don’t have a whole lot of experience behind them, just a few years working with FA. Their “outlook” seems to come from their love of mouthing off rather than any true self-acceptance. I’d like two hours of my life back, please.
Rating: 1 / 5
Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere is a missive from authors Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby – both self-proclaimed fat and happy bloggers. The book encourages all fat people to embrace their state in life.
I was extremely impressed with Fat-o-sphere as being as meaningful as “The Secret” – holding ideas which could literally change the life of its readers. I read and re-read Fat-o-sphere, interspersing it with reading other books on ethics and health and nutrition. I took reams of notes. I talked about the ideas with numerous friends. This was not a book I just “read”. It was one I absorbed and re-absorbed over several months. This all much to the chagrin of the BellaOnline editor who I had promised to pass the book along to
I want to mention here that Kate and Marianne both encourage usage of the word “fat” as meaning women above average size. If the word “fat” bothers you, please substitute whatever euphemism you enjoy better.
One of the reasons I kept putting off a review, and spent time contemplating the book in depth, is that I myself am NOT fat. I felt as if any honest review I gave of the book would be looked at from that angle. If I wrote praise, it might be accepted as “of course the book is good,” but if I spoke of any issues, I would be accused of as “she could not possibly understand.” Hence my desire to read and re-read, to discuss.
I am not completely without fat-understanding. My boyfriend is over 300 pounds. Several of my friends are over 400 pounds. I run websites that deal with fat issues. I field emails on how society reacts to fat people, how restaurants treat fat customers, and much more on a daily basis. Still, I acknowledge and accept that, not being fat myself, I cannot look at this issue from a first person vantage.
So, with all of that being said, on to my pages of notes.
I agree that Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere can seem to have issues on a first read. Thus my comparison with “The Secret”. If you read The Secret once, you might imagine it’s a license to sell your house, invest all your savings in a “learn to paint” course and assume you’ll become a millionaire painter.
Similarly you might get the impression, with a first read of this book, that it is about fat acceptance at all costs. Eat whatever you want. Sit on the couch all day if you want. If your doctor points out your health is being damaged by your size, report him to the authorities. If your friends worry about your size, stop talking to them.
Kate and Marianne are great bloggers, but it’s challenging to write a coherent book and you can see signs of that in several chapters. There are issues with how they phrase things in some points. You need to accept that, and patiently read around a few statements in the book. When you understand the book more fully, you realize Kate and Marianne aren’t trying to say the “sit on the couch” things at all. If they mention them, it’s in passing, and it’s in the context of a much larger statement.
The core message of Fat-O-Sphere is to stop fixating on a lower weight equating to world peace, a new life, a fantastic change. It is sort of like a teen assuming they can change schools and suddenly “become” a brand new person. People get addicted to the idea that if only they achieve X they will transform into a butterfly. They need to instead start living that new life NOW, every day, to be healthy now, to be happy now.
Yes, Fat-o-Sphere says to stop dieting, in the sense of “stop starving yourself to achieve artificial thinness.” Too many people put off life until they reach an arbitrary weight. Fat-O-Sphere say to be healthy NOW. Find an activity you love, because being active is good for people of all sizes. Walk. Dance. Swim. Do yoga. The reason exercise tends to fail is people feel they “must” do it. Reclaim the fun of youth and do active things you WANT to do.
The book says to eat healthy. Eat slowly. Eat thoughtfully. Don’t eat mindlessly in front of the TV – appreciate what you eat, think about what you are consuming. As you get full, accept that and stop, even if there’s food on the plate.
There is all sorts of practical advice to go with that. Use smaller plates. Think about your cravings. When you eat more slowly, it helps you realize you are full and to stop eating more quickly.
Now, I have to caveat that part of their eating statement is to in essence “eat whatever you want.” They claim if you free yourself of all dietary restrictions that sure, you might eat lots of ice cream for a while, but that after a short period of time you will naturally start eating healthy foods – broccoli, salmon, brown rice.
I’m afraid that I have to take serious issue with this. I know many people who have been trained from birth to eat junk food – white bread, white pasta, giant bowls of ice cream, giant bags of Fritoes. You can’t just undo decades of training by saying “OK eat whatever you want.” People will do what their training has been! As much as Fat-o-Sphere speaks out against changing your lifestyle, they do keep saying to eat more healthy foods and do more active things. Both of those ARE proactive tasks and they require both for you to change and for you to encourage others around you to support your change. So you need to deliberately start down a new path and to have friends around you who encourage you to be that healthy person.
On the weight issue, I do agree completely with the authors that weighing yourself daily is fruitless. The scale could be registering water weight, muscle weight, the weight of the food you’ve just eaten. Instead, focus on your blood sugar, blood pressure, cholesterol numbers. You want to become more healthy, whatever your weight. That being said, I disagree with the book’s statement that you should “throw out your scale”. Your weight is just another number that is critical to track (although not obsess over). If you have a sudden weight gain or weight loss, that is always an important health factor to alert a doctor to.
Along the same path, it bothers me that the book would encourage people to drop doctors just because they mention weight as an issue. There are people so heavy that walking damages their joints. If an aspect of your body is continually causing you damage, then you need to work on that. Having excess fat in that instance is no different than having excess sugar in your blood or excess hormones. It is an imbalance that you need to remedy.
Yes, a doctor should always TREAT you – and treat you with respect. But fat is a body part just as is skin, bones, cartilage and muscle. It should be just as able to be discussed.
The book claims there’s been no obesity rise since 2003, and in women since 1999. In 1999 16% of children were obese, 35% of adult women, 28% of adult men. Note that this is much larger than previous years – i.e. a very steep curve lead up to 1999 with weight skyrocketing. So it’s sort of unfair to use 1999 as a “starting point” since extreme, rapid growth got us to that point.
Even so, part of the problem is that “obesity” just means “over X weight”. People could be getting much heavier “within obesity” and still be called obese. In fact, this is what is happening. In 1999 only 5% of people were “extremely obese” (BMI over 40). By 2006, 6.2% of the population is. People are definitely getting heavier. Yes, you could say from 1999 to 2006 that the number of people who were overweight went from 33.6% to 32.2%. Maybe that’s because the number of people now counted as obese went from 30.9% to 35.1%. When you look at 2007 to 2008 by state, every single state had their obesity percentage rise except for DC.
People are definitely getting larger. They are definitely getting out of shape, and eating poor food. The issues are not 100% correlated – i.e. I know several large people who eat well, try to exercise, and remain large. Other medical issues are hindering them. However, for much of the population, the culprit is poor eating and lack of exercise.
While I agree with many of the messages of this book, I disagree with the “eat what you want” as a way of handling it – because people do NOT choose to eat spinach. People generally do eat what they want, and now 6.2% of people are extremely obese who used to be “only” obese. If they had a life path mapped out for themselves, I doubt sliding up the scale is the path they planned on taking. Their path of eating healthy foods and taking care of themselves is not going to begin by them becoming more heavy each month and being confined to a wheelchair. It’s hard to exercise and become healthy when you have lost the ability to walk.
As much as the authors trounce on “lifestyle changes” as never lasting, they then try to get you to lifestyle change for your health. If they really feel lifestyle changes never work, it’s an odd stance for them to take! This is another case where their writing is not always consistent. I have to say I know MANY people who made lifestyle changes and stuck with them for over 10 years. They stopped smoking. They found healthy exercise they love and with its help settled at a new “normal” weight (for them). They went from eating pasta all day to eating veggies and lean meats – and loving it.
Change you don’t enjoy is unsustainable. Change to a path you adore can easily be sustained for decades. Since the authors are pushing you TO change, they would have to admit that change in the long run is possible and can be very good for you.
A key message of Fat-o-Sphere is to TURN OFF the TV, and to stop reading women’s magazines. Both of these are chock full of messages – both blatant and subconscious – about how a woman should look and be. Articles on make-up to disguise your face. Ads for junk food that call up cravings. TV shows full of stick-thin models. They can be addictive – and very harmful. Find other things that you love to do. Go out with friends. Read a good book. Hang out on internet forums. Pretty much anything is going to be better than those shows and magazines. If there is a show you MUST watch, DVR it so you can skip the commercials, at least.
Start paying attention to how your family and friends treat you. Do they tease you about your size? Gently redirect them. Make sure YOU do not encourage them by speaking demeaningly of yourself. It’s not funny to joke about your own weight – it only encourages others to do the same. Be proud of who you are, and reflect it in how you talk and act.
Choose clothes you LOVE. Yes, it can be challenging to find clothes that fit you and you adore. Consider it a fun Easter Egg hunt. Subscribe to fat-friendly catalogues. Bookmark fat-friendly websites. Hunt through thrift stores, scour eBay. Your existing clothes that don’t fit you? Box them up. Put them in the attic, sell them on eBay, donate them to charity. Remove them from your life. You can even make your own clothes fairly easily – and it’s a fun hobby!
Don’t feel badly if clothes don’t fit all parts of you. Hardly anyone is a “perfect fit” for a commercial outfit. Their bust is too big, their waist is too small. Talk to your dry cleaner about a good tailor. For a few dollars you can change a sort-of-fit item into a perfect dress.
Fat people tend to be very self conscious and think the whole world is staring at them. It’s important to realize that most people out there simply don’t care enough to be focusing on you. The few who do probably stare at big-breasted blondes, afro-wearing African-Americans and bent-over older people too. It’s a comment on their brain, not on your body. So they like to stare at people. It shouldn’t affect how the rest of us live.
Be happy with yourself. If someone compliments you, say THANK YOU in appreciation, don’t dodge it. Stop judging others, because it encourages you to judge yourself too. Accept others. Accept yourself.
If you’re with someone, enjoy life with them. Go out and do things. If you’re single and want a partner, find ways to be happy now! Have fun. Do hobbies you enjoy. Spread out your feelers. If you are content, you will find partners, whatever your size.
People are rarely turned down because they are fat. They’re usually turned down because they are grumpy and defensive and sensitive. I know many fat people who are in wonderfully happy relationships, who have partners who love them just the way they are.
Most importantly, LIVE NOW. Do not put off fun new clothes until you are X weight. Do not put off interesting hobbies until you are X weight. In short, do not think that “now” you are boring but “soon” (when you’re thinner) you will be a spectacular new person. You are *already* that cool, fantastic new person. You can enjoy good health, great friends, delicious food and fun activities right now. You just need to start doing them.
You could say that all of this is new age twaddle that everyone knows as common sense. However, I doubt there is one person out there who DOES actually live their life by all of these guidelines. We all need help, we need reminders and prods. That is what this book does. It prods us onto a new track in life, a path which is more likely to lead us to health and happiness.
So how to summarize this amazing book? I imagine you can tell by the length of this review how profoundly I was affected by it. It really is quite amazing. Yes there are some issues, as I pointed out. But in the grand scheme the issues these these are few and far between. I would highly recommend this book to EVERYONE I know – fat or not-fat, male or female, young or old. We all have issues of self acceptance, we all have issues with how we accept others. This book is stuffed full of important messages each of us needs to learn, internalize, and practice on a daily basis.
Highly, highly recommended.
Rating: 5 / 5
I read this book and let a friend borrow it because we’re both larger ladies. It’s been great for my self confidence and for helping me relax more about my boyfriend’s visit in a month. It’s also been great for my food intake, I don’t feel like I’m being shameful for having a bowl of ice cream when I want it or like I’m a massive pig when I go back for seconds if I’m still hungry. I’m learning to love my body because of this book, and it’s given me some great pointers about living my life instead of worrying about what people who really don’t matter think. I highly suggest this book, it’s wonderful, sarcastic, witty, and like they’re right there with you just talking.
Rating: 5 / 5